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How to deal with choleric people?

Foto: ra2studio / depositphotos.com

In our business life we don’t just meet nice people with whom we want to hang out. Not everyone has a constructive attitude towards you. Let’s have a look at one particular group of people we can call the cholerics. Choleric people show up everywhere, they can be quite demotivating and block any kind of development. Their behavior is unpredictable, aggressive and very often insidious. They create a toxic environment and affect team spirit dramatically.

What to do if someone like this is around you? I share some pieces of advice with you here:

Try to find out, if it is a nice type who is just not able to control his temper. You can check his reactions when you change your wording, if you use softer vocabulary or even integrate the person into your argumentation to make him feel important. Asking him for advice also helps. You can also tell him, in a moment of calm, the negative effect his behavior has on the team and thus on performance. If he is not reacting in a constructive way, it’s good that you tried, but then move on to the next point.

The choleric may simply refuse to change his mind, wants to intimidate you, to keep you out from a discussion, no matter how good your arguments are. You may have better ideas to tackle challenges, but he simply does not want to listen to you. In this case, all you can do is try to remain calm and make him understand that you have detected his strategy and that this is not a fruitful ground for collaboration. You may even suggest having a common talk with your superior, if it is the same one, to talk openly about the problem. Don’t be afraid to address the issue. If it is your superior, this is more challenging. In this case, seek advice from someone you trust or a HR representative.

There is a third type of choleric that incorporates both of the previous types and has even more to offer: He is insidious, playing games behind your back, deliberately trying to destabilize you and make you look like a fool. He is not transparent and avoids any kind of clear position. For this person, power is the most important thing. Any collaborator who poses a real of fictive danger to him will somehow be destroyed or discredited.

We are living in the 21st century and our companies are still full of such people. It is incredible to see how they make their career paths despite these patterns. According to some international studies, around 1 out of 5 top managers is a psychopath, many of whom are also choleric. If these people are close to you and there is no way out through discussion or mediation, there is only one solution left: leave this environment for good. There is a German proverb saying that an end with terror is better than terror without end.

If you do not act, you will suffer and slowly destroy yourself, your happiness and joy of living and working. Don’t let this happen.

Dr. Michael Schroeder

michael.schroeder@linarson.com

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